My 10 Steps to Self Love

In my latest blog post “Love on YOUrself”, I added my list of self-love steps.  So, for your convenience (and mine) I thought I would make a section dedicated specifically to those self-love tips. Remember, there is no trick to this thing, you just keep going at it, it is constantly changing, you are constantly evolving, you don’t stay the same forever. But, this is what helped me, and I hope that it can in some way help you as well.

  1. Get right with God. He is my number one homie. My relationship with him could be even tighter but I make sure to check in with him first because he guides my steps. If my relationship with him isn’t right then I can’t count on anything else to be right
  2. Remove the toxins from my life. Toxic friends, toxic outlets, etc. Anything that doesn’t help me become better or get me to where I need to be. Anyone that doesn’t support me or always has anything negative to say gotta go.
  3. Make a list of my dreams/goals and no matter how small they are make sure to commit to them. I have my dreams and goals written down in my phone and because I am always evolving, because my mind is constantly changing in terms of the things I want to do and where I want to be, I always make sure to add to my list.
  4. Move at your own Pace. This one can be a little difficult for some to do. Because with social media, with people constantly posting about their best lives, we can start to think that our own personal life isn’t as up to par as our peers.  Post graduation depression is real. After graduation, myself and some friends found ourselves in this weird  phase where we felt as though we were not as successful or as busy as our peers. It seemed like everyone around us could afford to hold some sort of work position (if they even had one) and could also afford to go on lavish vacations and eat out every night whilst I sit at home with barely enough to my name because the little I do have goes towards responsibilities that need to be taken care of and with the payment schedule of my summer job, well, lavish livings was not exactly feasible. One lesson that I have had to learn is that you cannot under any circumstances judge someone else’s chapter 22 off of your chapter 1. You do not know what someone else has had to endure, the obstacles they have had to face to get where they are. This is your own journey, no one else’s. Your  life is not supposed to mirror someone else’s.  You will have your own dreams, your own goals and experiences that will all come together to customise your own life. Be patient and stop comparing your life to others.
  5. Surround yourself with good people. Back to step 2, you want people in your corner that want you to succeed, those that are on your level and can understand your vision and your goals for life and they do not hold you back.
  6. Pick out your flaws. You are your own worst critique and to be honest, you know you better than anyone else does. If you know your strengths and your weaknesses and you accept that you do have your faults wholeheartedly, then when someone steps to you wrong or uses your insecurities against you then you are already prepared because it won’t get to you as much as it could have.
  7. Pick out your strengths.
  8. Find a hobby. Everyone is good at something, whether it be a form of art, painting, drawing, graphic design, writing, singing, dancing, etc. Obviously writing is a hobby of mine otherwise this blog wouldn’t even be in existence. I found out a lot about myself through writing these experiences and through allowing my mind to create stories that make people think, that make people actually feel very strong emotions. Once you find something else that isn’t your job, that you can give your all to, it is a pretty good feeling when you are able to express yourself through another medium.
  9. Treat yourself . Fairly simple one this one. You deserve some down time, a vacation, a spa day, a shopping spree even. Do not forget to spend some money on yourself, you worked hard for yours, make sure you enjoy the fruits of your labor boo! You owe it to yourself.
  10. Stay woke. Knowledge is power. The more you know, the more you grow. Knowledge can never be taken away from you. Keep yourself abreast to what is going on in your surrounding areas, how does it help you,? How does it hurt you?What can you do to help your community? How do you give back? Stand your ground, fight for your rights and for being a black woman in America, because if you don’t, not many others will.

All My Love,


-Miss A.